Years ago, a woman in her late 40s arrived in my office.
Talking le to new solutions Talking helps in other ways, too. Nothing has changed that caused the suffering in our lives, but talking has drained off some of someonee pain and this brings relief.
My eyes were focused on her and her feelings became my feelings. I could see the despair and grief she was feeling.
Be curious Ask questions. She researches how people navigate their social worldsincluding how language and mental capacity influences interactions. There is a branch of psychology that believes behavior can be changed by changing the way we think. In my practice, I ask people a lot of questions to keep them talking about what troubles them so they might discover atlk own solution.
A solution pops into our mind. Give someone a compliment It shifts the focus to the other person and should make them feel good, Sandstrom explains. Old thoughts that are counterproductive are erased and new thoughts that are positive and constructive are entered into the mind.
She related that after a prolonged illness with cancer, her year-old son died. A question can either kick off a conversation soeone keep it going, Sandstrom says. Since I am a psychologist, it is obvious to me how talking helps people.
It someons a lot like re-programming a computer. The charged feelings within us become less charged. Many times when we talk with a friend, a family member or a therapist, we are stuck. When our last session ended, she stood up, grabbed my hand and thanked me for helping her.
She started her tzlk with her pregnancy and took me a step at a time through the life of her son. The benefits of talking are not apparent to many people.
Focusing the attention on the other person in those moments can help us get past those awkward spots, she says. Very often, they are surprised how they suddenly think of how to solve the problem. Our fear assumptions fail to take into the social norms of politeness, Schroeder says. There is a word that captures how talking helps—catharsis.
She left my office and I have never seen her again, but her story stays with me. I listened. I have many stories of how people benefit from talking, but the story that follows is ssomeone I will never forget. However, the benefits of talking are not apparent to many people. Then the therapist and client together work out a series of positive statements to counteract the negative statements.
She was so appreciative. Talking helped her. At these times, we walk around feeling emotionally charged up and filled with tension.
Research actually suggests that people who ask more questions are better liked by their conversation partners than people who ask fewer questions. The client is encouraged to take an inventory of the negative thoughts that pop into her mind throughout a normal day. At these times, talking can help.
somelne The client is then encouraged to talk to herself during the day by repeating these statements. But as we talk, we hear ourselves express feelings and information that have not been expressed before. Ro gives people an opportunity to tell their story, and, in the telling, they find relief and a quieting of their emotions. We find ourselves stuck in a state of despair and pain. Talking le to a catharsis, which means a feeling of relief.
By Kenneth N. Talking is cathartic There are many experiences in life that at times leave us emotionally overwhelmed. You get better at asking better questions, and answering with more interesting responses. For the next two months, this mother arrived for her appointment each week.
I did nothing but listen. Audio CD.
When these experiences descend upon us, we feel emotionally frozen. Frequently, what has happened to us cannot be changed, such as when someone we love dies, a tragic accident occurs or we have learned we have a terrible illness.
At times I smiled with her and at times my eyes, like her eyes, were filled with tears. It is this experience of hearing ourselves that allows us at times to suddenly think of what to do. Research shows the opposite, however, that people nearly always are willing to engage in a conversation when prompted by someone else.