Also, if your partner's ex calls or texts at odd hours or makes inappropriate remarks on social media, these are likely s of disrespect toward the relationship. Shutterstock Determining whether the communication between your partner and their ex is healthy depends on important factors, such as how strong the current relationship is between you and your partnerhow long it's been since the relationship ended between your partner and their exand if there are any residual emotions on your partner's boyftiend or on their ex's.
However, it is possible that your partner doesn't have any ulterior motives. More like this.
Of course, this could just be a case of a bitter ex, and may not actually have anything to do with your partner's current behavior. But others will require you both to talk about your expectations in this relationship. Before you approach your partner, you may want to think about whether your suspicions are warranted. Do you ym a tendency to be jealous in relationships? He comes with his children, goyfriend his children come with their mother.
She explains that if your relationship with your partner is already on shaky ,y, it may not withstand your partner talking to their ex —or you talking to your ex, for that matter. Especially in a new relationship, you want to be careful not to make unfounded accusations or appear unnecessarily jealous.
This article was originally published on July 19, Perry suggests you observe their communication pattern over a period of time, so that you can have examples to present to your partner, rather than just one incident. Just remember that you two have some navigating to do, too, in figuring out what your life together will look like in this blended family.
Once you know the answers, you can better assess how to deal with the situation. Hopefully, Adam will be willing to get some professional help in navigating his co-parenting situation, even if his ex-wife declines to participate with him. In her experience, most healthy relationships with exes involve brief, infrequent messages or phone calls.
Therefore, it's difficult for me to understand how you can be just friends with someone whom you were once romantically involved with. Perhaps they're just genuinely interested in maintaining a friendship with a person who was once very important to them.
So, if your boyfriend or girlfriend still talks to their exI totally get why you might not be percent on board with it. If you're concerned about your ificant other's relationship with their ex, you're totally justified in starting a respectful conversation about it.
Once boyffriend are ready to bring it up, calmly present your concerns and watch how your partner responds. Just because your partner is in contact with their ex, that doesn't necessarily mean they still have feelings for the ex, or that they are being at all unfaithful.
You can look out for red flags that something secretive is going on, but if it's a simple happy birthday text or a friendly Instagram comment every so often, you probably have nothing to worry about. One option might be for Adam and his ex to see a therapist tests can help them navigate their co-parenting arrangement, creating parameters and offering tools for handling the kids when his ex boytriend alone with them.
What are the specific behaviors on your partner's end that are making you feel uncomfortable? How does your partner respond when you bring up your feelings about the situation?
It sounds like Adam is trying to boyriend everyone and ends up feeling trapped. If your partner seems defensive or dismissive of your bis, that is likely a red flag that their relationship [with their ex] is a lot closer than you suspect," says Dr. Shutterstock Because exes are understandably a very touchy subject, it can be a difficult topic to approach.
Parenting requires a lot of selflessness but also has many rewards. Always boyfdiend the advice of your physician, mental-health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. If you can begin to really accept and ultimately embrace the reality that his kids come first without taking it personally, then you and Adam can sit down and figure out what can be done to improve the situation with their mother.
QuaVaundra Perry, a d psychologist specializing in relationship distress. It was updated on Feb. If you feel weird about the fact that your partner still talks boyfdiend their ex, that's completely valid.
Before you question your S. How well do you know them? Similarly, stepparenting requires a lot of selflessness and has the potential to come with rewards, but it also comes with a stipulation—one you have to decide whether you can live with.
But this would take time, involve conflict, and also mean that boyfdiend kids would be more of a presence in your life—which brings me back to the package deal I mentioned earlier. By Jamie Kravitz July 19, Personally, when someone tells me they're still friendly with their ex, I can't help but be a little skeptical.
I know not all breakups are dramatic, Bachelor-worthy blowups complete with screaming and crying, but they still ify the end of a relationship. On the his that Adam has the kids, are you there, too, or does Adam spend that time alone boyfriend them? How much time have you spent text them? Do you feel boyfdiend in your relationship? There are effective and ineffective ways to have that discussion, although the way your partner initially reacts could tell you everything you need to know about who they are.
Dear Therapist is for informational purposes only, does not constitute medical advice, and is not a substitute hsi professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
You don't want to come off as accusatory that won't help the conversation progress in a comfortable mannerso consider asking yourself the following questions before you sit down with your S. How often is your partner communicating with his or her ex?